Big US banks so insolvent....
...customers can't close their accounts.
In reality these banks are just trying to punish their customers for being part of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Unfortunately they can get away with this business model since even if all the money in these banks held by us small depositors were removed, it wouldn't come close to the money held by these banks by the less than 10% of the population who hold all the wealth. In short, the banks don't care.
Of course, generally the reason a bank won't let you close your account is that it is indeed, insolvent and doesn't have the money to give you. It would be interesting to see what happens if this narrative is the one that takes off. Nothing scares a banker like a good old fashioned run on a bank.